Be Careful What You Assume and How You Answer a Matter – PART 1

Be Careful What You Assume and How You Answer A Matter (Proverbs 18:13) – PART 1

Proverbs 18:13, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.”

To answer a question before you have heard it out is both foolish and insulting. To spout off an answer to something before listening to all the facts is the assurance of an impatient and unwise man; this act brings both shame and confusion upon him and his public reputation. These people speak before they have any wisdom in their talk. They are so anxious to talk, that they do not wait to get substance in their talk. Such people heap much shame upon themselves and are soon embarrassed by their speaking before they have something worthwhile to say.

A counselor is genuinely intent to listen to the situation before speaking. Knowing when to speak is just as important as knowing what to say. Foolish people are more interested in answering than in hearing out the person who addresses them. It’s possible to be convinced by the first speaker in a debate or a court case, but things may look different when you hear the opposition’s response. Take the time to make sure you have listened and understood all aspects of a matter before you decide on a solution.

John 7:51, “Doth our law judge any man, before it hear him, and know what he doeth?” To react to a problem before hearing the whole matter results in foolish decisions and embarrassment. Good judgment hears both sides of a dispute in their entirety before coming to a decision. Fools, rather, fly off the handle after hearing only one side.

Making rash judgments or decisions on matters before hearing all the relevant facts is foolish and most unwise. Far too many opinions are formed based on a blend of fact and fiction. Tragically, this leads to grave errors in judgment and mistaken ideas about people and situations. It can even lead to someone’s death. Quick responses are often immaterial and usually wrong. All of this points toward people who are arrogant, who exalt themselves, and think they have all the answers. The wise are different, and they go about things in an entirely different manner. They gather all the information they can; then they consider it carefully before drawing a conclusion. They also seek God’s guidance as to the truth of a matter or as to what action they should take. Jumping to conclusions is foolish and brings disgrace and reproach.

Often people say things that sound good in the moment, but when they are fully considered, the flaws begin to appear. Other times, only one side of a situation is presented for consideration. The problem comes in when we take action based on the early information without taking all sides into account. That approach leads to foolish decisions and can result in disaster.

Sometimes the wisest thing we can do is constrain our words and say little or nothing at all. We all have suffered from the familiar "foot-in-mouth disease". One of the most frequent complaints from couples who are struggling in their marriages is "they don’t listen to me". When we get to know people, we sometimes think we know what they are going to say before they say it. While this is true in some relationships, the issue is that we just listen to the first part of the comment or question and then starting responding. Another excellent time to constrain our words is when someone says something very foolish. Getting into a debate with a fool is a big mistake. The Bible helps us regarding this in Proverbs 26:4, “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.” If you get into an argument with a fool and someone overhears the discussion, he or she won't be able to tell which one is the fool.

We should take time to carefully weigh all aspects of a matter, making sure that we have the full story before proceeding to make a decision. Choices based on partial and incomplete information rarely turn out well. Do not allow impatience to push you toward moving forward unless you are sure you have understood both the current situation and the possible outcomes of any decision you make. Only then are you ready to make a wise and safe decision. A person who knows the right words to say is like an artist who can make beautiful, valuable things out of silver and gold. The most valuable thing you can give most people is a word of constructive encouragement.

Giving advice, coming to conclusions, or speaking too hastily leads to humiliation. Poor listening reveals that the person has a low regard for what others are saying. It also reveals that they are too absorbed in self-importance.

There are three basic principles for making sound decisions:

1. Get the facts before answering.
2. Be open to new ideas.
3. Make sure you hear both sides of the story before judging a matter or making a decision.

All three principles center around the search for additional information. This is difficult work, but the only alternative is prejudice or judging before getting all the facts. As parents, when our kids are in a dispute, it's important to get all the facts before we make a ruling on a matter. Failure to do so can create rebellion in our children and leave us with “egg on our face”.

Points to Ponder:
Investigate all the facts before issuing any opinions.
Procure all the facts to prevent any folly.
Lip service without examining all the facts leads to embarrassment.
Use wisdom rather than speaking prematurely or jumping to conclusions before hearing a matter.

Prayer: Father in Heaven, please help me to listen attentively before I speak. Help me to be slow to answer without fully, understanding the situation. Give me the wisdom to discern and the patience to hear others out. May I never be foolish or bring shame upon myself by speaking without first listening. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

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